Day 134: Preston, The Random Drunk

Isla Vista is a very unique place. Today, as our entire house was doing our weekly house clean, a drunk man carrying only a Four Loko and Beef Jerky stumbled up our stairs and into our house. We all asked each other who this man was but soon came to the conclusion that no one had any idea.

He asked us if he could "hang out" and we told him that he could stay if he helped us clean. After hearing this he immediately walked to the sink and started doing our dishes. Since our house had been broken into, we were all on high alert but this intoxicated man did not seem threatening at all. He even let us eat some of his Jerky. His name was Preston.

We learned a lot about Preston. He was originally from North Carolina and lived locally. Apparently he's 26 and has a kid with "Gina the Nina" who was "fat Double D's". One of the reasons he wanted to help us clean was because "bitches love a clean house" and his roommates were "dirty fuckers". There is also no "Shame in his game". Preston is also the first mate on a para gliding boat and demonstrated his occupation by strapping Gio up with invisible para gliding straps.

Once he was done with the dishes he vacuumed the entire house. I gave him a snap because he was talking about smoking and any man who helps me clean my house deserves one any day of the week.

But as the house got cleaner, Preston's presence became more awkward and we eventually had to kick him out by using the standard "oh we are all leaving" line.

But thank you Preston. We appreciate it.